Abbi Sue
- Abbi
- I am a farm girl from a small town called Preston. I served a mission in the great state of Texas. San Antonio still has my heart! I am the oldest of 3 kids! My parents are my heroes. My Grandma taught me from a young age that I am of great worth. Before I would leave her house she would say, Boo (that is my nick name) who are you? My reply, Grandma I am Boo Shaffer a daughter of God! I believe with all my heart that happiness is a choice we get to make every morning! I love my life!!
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Thursday, March 30, 2017
Parenting
I know you are all thinking... this 22 year old, who has never been married or had children is going to give us advice about parenting styles?! I agree, I have no personal experience as a parent, but I have been a child. I have seen and been apart of successful circumstances as well as moments of confusion and failure in family life. I am sure we all have and I would invite all of you to make comments if you have ideas or stories pop up as you read this post.
First off, what is the purpose of parenting? Here are a few ideas, to help teach independence, help children learn to understand emotions and how to take care of their bodies. Parents can bring order to a Childs life. The one role I believe is most important of a parent is to help a child prepare for their heavenly roles. I would say that parents learn just as much if not more as a child is growing.
Dr. Popkins gives a few ideas that really stood out to me. He mentioned that by the time children are teens the only real tool that a parents has to influence them is the relationship they have together. I can say amen to this principle. I can remember a specific experience in high school, I was so frustrated with my mom, I felt like she was trying to dictate how I lived my life. She didn't agree with a few of my decisions. It wasn't until she sat down and tried to understand me that I was able to open up to her, she was able to describe to me why she was concerned. If we wouldn't have had a strong relationship before that experience it would have been a lot harder to open up to her.
He also talks about problem handling. We should think to ourselves, who owns this problem, that doesn't mean whose fault is it? As well as who is most affected by the problem. Parents often want to come in and save the day! They don't want their kids to hurt and go through hard things... problem is life is hard. We should let them feel the effect of life and love them through it! Help them come up with a game plan. He gives the exceptions to letting the natural consequences come to pass, they are too dangerous, too far in the future, someone else is affected by them.When these three points arise the problem them becomes the parents too.
Here is a website that gives a little more information about Dr. Popkin.
http://www.activeparenting.com/About-Michael_Popkin
I want to simply testify that parenthood is part of Gods plan! How blessed of a people are we to get to get to experience it. We get the opportunity to learn how to be more loving and merciful as our Heavenly Father. Just as he has not taken our agency away we cannot take away our children's. I hope a few of these thoughts have helped spark ideas of how you can now or in the future be a better parent.
First off, what is the purpose of parenting? Here are a few ideas, to help teach independence, help children learn to understand emotions and how to take care of their bodies. Parents can bring order to a Childs life. The one role I believe is most important of a parent is to help a child prepare for their heavenly roles. I would say that parents learn just as much if not more as a child is growing.
Dr. Popkins gives a few ideas that really stood out to me. He mentioned that by the time children are teens the only real tool that a parents has to influence them is the relationship they have together. I can say amen to this principle. I can remember a specific experience in high school, I was so frustrated with my mom, I felt like she was trying to dictate how I lived my life. She didn't agree with a few of my decisions. It wasn't until she sat down and tried to understand me that I was able to open up to her, she was able to describe to me why she was concerned. If we wouldn't have had a strong relationship before that experience it would have been a lot harder to open up to her.
He also talks about problem handling. We should think to ourselves, who owns this problem, that doesn't mean whose fault is it? As well as who is most affected by the problem. Parents often want to come in and save the day! They don't want their kids to hurt and go through hard things... problem is life is hard. We should let them feel the effect of life and love them through it! Help them come up with a game plan. He gives the exceptions to letting the natural consequences come to pass, they are too dangerous, too far in the future, someone else is affected by them.When these three points arise the problem them becomes the parents too.
Here is a website that gives a little more information about Dr. Popkin.
http://www.activeparenting.com/About-Michael_Popkin
Monday, March 20, 2017
Fathers... are they really needed?
In today's world we see more and more advertisements and cartoons of fathers who are lazy, they sit and watch TV and do nothing all day while the mother of the family is superwoman does everything to keep the family functioning. Is what we see on TV true? Absolutely not! The problem is, I do believe there are fathers out there who feel as though it is, that their purpose is diminishing, and not at a slow rate.
One of my professors told us a neat story of when he was going to school, working full time had recently gotten married to a woman who had two kids in a previous marriage and they had their first child together. He would get up early and get home late. He knew it was important to be with his kids. Though tired, he would get up with his crying baby and rock her and change her diapers. He recognized that his role as a father was more important than a student, or an employee. I am grateful for this example in my life. Parenthood is full of major sacrifices! He did say to us that when he did that his wife would alway thank him and give him a complement. The quote below fits right in with this!
(This is my dad trying to teach me how to fly fish! Key word "trying")
Thursday, March 9, 2017
We talk all the time, but are we Communicating??!
The answer to the question posed in the title is yes. We are always communicating! The trick is do we always understand the messages and signals being sent? I want to focus today on encoding and decoding! I know y'all are thinking great... this article already sounds like a real doozy! I promise if you keep reading the information I am about to share will surprise you, and who knows you just might walk away with a goal or two to make your communication skills a little better!?
Encoding is when a person has a thought and sends it out as a media either verbally or even none verbally. The receiver is also known as the decoder. We use trading behaviors to help us decode, and as the one who sends the message, we see how it is being taken,things such as eye contact, nodding of head, and when a person says yeah or yes. It is true that actions really do speak louder than words.
Just as someone would not drink out of a bottle with the poison sign on it. We can not expect someone to want to go on a date with us if overtime you look at them they glare at you and stick their tung out. Silly example yes, but I hope it helps you see the principle of our actions being a huge part of the way others read us.
I learned something they other day from a friend of mine, he said that if you decode something as a negative do your best to encode it to understand if what you got from it was really what they were trying to relay. Especially in marriages! Why do we give our harshest looks and often ignore those that we love the most? I believe the answer is, Satan. He and his angles are trying to interrupt the way that we encode and decode. For those of you who are married look at the image below and which corner best describes your relationship? How could you make it be more like the bottom right by using the principles of encoding and decoding??
Encoding is when a person has a thought and sends it out as a media either verbally or even none verbally. The receiver is also known as the decoder. We use trading behaviors to help us decode, and as the one who sends the message, we see how it is being taken,things such as eye contact, nodding of head, and when a person says yeah or yes. It is true that actions really do speak louder than words.
Just as someone would not drink out of a bottle with the poison sign on it. We can not expect someone to want to go on a date with us if overtime you look at them they glare at you and stick their tung out. Silly example yes, but I hope it helps you see the principle of our actions being a huge part of the way others read us.
I find it interesting that women are the ones who usually come to communicate with someone about their frustrations, and that communication is the most common problem they bring to the table.
I learned something they other day from a friend of mine, he said that if you decode something as a negative do your best to encode it to understand if what you got from it was really what they were trying to relay. Especially in marriages! Why do we give our harshest looks and often ignore those that we love the most? I believe the answer is, Satan. He and his angles are trying to interrupt the way that we encode and decode. For those of you who are married look at the image below and which corner best describes your relationship? How could you make it be more like the bottom right by using the principles of encoding and decoding??
The brethren of the church have been encouraging us to have family councils, why? Why would they want us to sit down together and learn to work through the small problems. It couldn't be that they are preparing us for when the bigger trials come and attack our family could it? They have shared how they conduct their councils, there is great wisdom in the layout they use. First they usually come early to express love to one other and to share their appreciation. They then open with a prayer to come to know Gods will. They discuss that will, not their opinions or their personal preferences. They take turns as they discuss matters, and never raise their voices. I find it interesting that they do not always see eye to eye all of the time. They each bring a vision. They close with a prayer and have refreshments.
My prayer is that all of you reading this will take the principle of encoding and decoding and use it! Apply it in your councils. I can testify that councils bring strength to a unit. I know as we seek to do Gods will, windows will open up and blessings will pour down upon us. I love each of you and hope there is something small from this weeks post that you can take away and personalize and apply in your lives!
God Bless!
Stressor
If we take a look into the world we see both functioning and very dysfunctional families. The question I ask you all is what makes those strong, put together families? What are those of us who struggle doing wrong?
First, I think it is really important to understand that perfection is impossible in this life. I think most understand that concept the majority of the time, but then we see that family in our ward or have that friend who seems to be able to keep all their ducks in a straight row all of the time.
I can promise you that they don't always live a perfect organized life, and I am sure there are qualities that you have that they look in on and think, "If I could just be more like her/him!" People we must recognize the talents and gifts we have! We have every right to utilize them and magnify them, if we do so and give God the glory we are sharing his light! We all have trials in life wether they are our own or are by watching someone we love go through them. These could range from, moving, to death, surgery, natural disaster, major purchases, suicide or even attempted suicide, divorce, gabling, a change in job or possibly a loss of faith. These are just a few of many and each of us I am sure can look back in life and think of something hard we have had to face.
To help understand how a strong family would face a trial I am going to make up a short story and apply some of the principles that help unify and strengthen a family...
Lilly is a twelve year old girl from Kansas. Every night before bed her family says family prayer. She hears her parents pray for each other and for every member of the family. She then goes and puts her PJ's on. Then heads to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She kneels at the end of her bed and follows her parents example and prays for others and asks for help. After climbing into bed her parents together come in and kiss her goodnight, and ask simple questions about her day. When she wakes up the next morning her parents sit her and the rest of the family down together to inform them that their Great Grandma Ruby passed away that night. Grandma Ruby lived across there street for a long time before she was put in a rest home. The family weekly would go and visit her. This hit Lilly really hard, as expected. The kids stayed home from school and shared stories of their grandma. That entire day Lilly was really quiet and kept to herself. That night as she followed the same pattern as the previous, she crawled into bed and her parents came in sat next to her. They asked about her day and how she was feeling. She looked up at them with tears in her eyes and and began to pour out her heart of how she was going to miss her grandma. How she didn't understand why God would take her away from the. Her parents were able to comfort her and answer her questions in a calm environment where the spirit resided.
So yes... This story makes Lilly sound perfect, as well as her parents. The principles I hope each of you were able to pull from my made up story are, routines are really healthy especially when something new comes into our system or when something leaves our family we can still have consistency in our day. Lilly's parents had previously created an environment for their kids to have one on one time with them. It was not unexpected to have mom and dad come in and ask about her day. Another one of those family routines that is highly recommended is having dinner together, families that eat together stay together! 😆
I once watched a demonstration of how stress affects family life. The instructor had a group of individuals come to the circle and hold hands. He would talk about trials that one of the individuals was facing and then would pull on their shoulders. The entire "family" would brace for it. They each felt it. Dad facing problems at work would bring it home, mom being frustrated that the house is dirty and she has book club tomorrow, affects each individual of the family. All of us are going to face life, are we going to deal with it like the couple below....
OR... are we going to learn how to cope?! The definition of "cope" in the dictionary is, "to struggle or deal, especially on fairly even terms or with some degree of success, to face and deal with responsibilities, problems, or difficulties." Coping does not mean life is just going to be full of calm seas all of the time. To explain I am going to share a picture of coping around a swimming pool. Its purpose is to keep the water in the pool, and to keep rain water or other objects out of the pool. Also it serves as a safety tool for swimmers. They can reach out and grab a smooth edge. Interesting fact about the coping material, it is baked at over 2000 degrees!! It is tough and pure. We need to be more like this coping. We need to set boundaries in our lives. We need to be able to be the coping mechanism for others to grab on to and also not be afraid of letting others grab on to us for help. As a family we watch out for each other.
Saturday, February 25, 2017
This quote was on the top of the weeks notes and information for me and my fellow classmates.
I love it!!
"Just as Jesus used a child in His mortal ministry as an example for the people of the pure love they must and could have to be like Him, He has offered us the family as an example of an ideal setting in which we can learn how to love as He loves. That is because the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is."
-President Henry B. Eyring
I try to cover topics for all adult ages to gain ideas and information from. Today I want to talk about the "s" word... yes sex. But I want to talk about it in a family friendly zone. 😅 I hope to be able to help future moms and dads, parents of young children and parents of teenagers to know how and when to talk about it.
I love this website. It is put out to the world as a source by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Parents Guide: https://www.lds.org/manual/a-parents-guide?lang=eng
I found it really interesting that we should be teaching our children about sex from the time they come out of the womb. We teach them to respect their bodies, to have kindness towards others. I pulled a section from this website, I couldn't say it better than they did.
"Be kind and patient as infants learn to do things for themselves. Harsh correction could diminish their self-esteem and make them anxious about trusting others. For instance, if a little girl tries to feed herself and constantly spills her food and her father habitually becomes angry, she may come to believe that she is bad because she spills. She may also learn to fear men. Her father’s challenge is to find a clean spot on which to kiss her and to encourage her to keep trying day after day until at her own pace she develops the needed skill. If she throws down the food in anger, her father should simply ignore her anger and temporarily remove the food from her reach. Patient, kind acceptance of young children’s efforts to learn will help them have good feelings about themselves and feel confident in loving their parents."
I found a couple steps that help give us direction with kids when they are in the ages between 4-11
"1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Amen. I really like how in #4 it says "as they become ready" When I was little I was quite innocent you could say... I was not like a lot of other kids who had curiosity. My mom and dad had to be sensitive to me and to my little sister. We were ready for differnt things at different times. I can see how important it is for parents to be lead by the spirit in rearing their children in righteousness especially with a topic as sensitive as this.
Teach your children to take good care of their bodies.
2.
Teach your children how intimate relationships differ from other kinds of relationships.
3.
Teach your children to accept and understand that basic differences between men and women are complementary in nature. To understand their role identity, children need to understand that each gender completes the purpose of the other’s creation.
4.
Teach your children about sexuality as they become ready to learn.
5.
Protect your children from physical and sexual abuse."
Amen. I really like how in #4 it says "as they become ready" When I was little I was quite innocent you could say... I was not like a lot of other kids who had curiosity. My mom and dad had to be sensitive to me and to my little sister. We were ready for differnt things at different times. I can see how important it is for parents to be lead by the spirit in rearing their children in righteousness especially with a topic as sensitive as this.
It is a responsibility for all parents to educate their families! The teenage years are hard and we all know it! Trying to figure out who you want to be is huge... We need to create an environment where children feel safe to come and ask questions and if they mess up that they dont fear to come and get help. We need to share the love that Christ shared with all of us.
One more topic... Tips to stay faithful in marriage!
We talked a lot about this in my class and it made me realize a lot of different things that I had not thought of before. I never thought about what my future spouse will think of when I have opposite gender friends or how to protect myself in the work environment. Brother Williams made a comment about how when we get engaged that is a time to cut strings and put new ones up between the two of us. I never thought about how having opposite gender friends can be a tool used to destroy a marriage. It makes perfect sense though... why would you go and tell someone things you should be telling your husband, or spending time with someone when you could put that focus on one individual. The chances of their being jealously is really great. I thought to myself in class, I have a lot of guy friends and I don't see there being a problem with it as long as bounds are set. Then Brother Williams asked us... What if he had a bunch of "girl" friends that he had lunch with, just to catch up with. I thought oh heavens no. I think that is a great role to go by in marriage is asking ourselves that exact question. Or how would that make my spouse feel. We should always be trying to lift each other. My mission president was a really great example of how to handle the opposite gender while at work. He was a dentist and he and the hygienists and secretary that worked with him often had to travel for meetings with other doctors. He would never travel with just one lady. He would make them drive separately or would invite his wife to come with them. He never had to be placed in an uncomfortable situation and his wife never had to worry. This week in class I had multiple lightbulb moments and I hope that as you read this you too have had a few thoughts of how you could better your life or the life of your family.
Marriage??
To all of you returned missionaries or unmarried college students out there, how many times a day do you get asked if you are dating?? Engaged??? As we come home marriage is the next big step we are expected to take in our lives. My question is, is it something some of us run into quickly, because it is the "expectation" or are we really in love and ready for that great and beautiful step of commitment? This question is one I have thought a lot about. I have definitely felt the pressure to get married from those around me. I would stress about it constantly, I spent hours upon hours trying to figure out a solution. When in reality there was no need for a solution. I realized that my loved ones were simply trying to be involved in my life and I perceived it as I was letting my loved ones down. I questioned myself and my ability to "fall in love." It took me a long time with much prayer and even multiple visits to the temple to realize it is perfectly fine to be 22, not married and be an active mormon!
In my family relations class this week we studied and discussed early marital adjustments. It was amazing to me how many couples end up in marriage counseling before they have even reached a year of marriage. I would love to share with you some of our findings of why they may have been in that situation. So often we go in to marriage so in "love!" What does love even mean? They love to make out, they love having someone that gives them their full attention all of the time, they love the idea of a happily ever after. Do we ever really think of how we are going to reach our happily ever after? Do we consider trials that we may have to go through in the future and communicate and have a plan of how to overcome or avoid certain trials. Do we think about the sacrifices that we are going to have to make for our spouse? I believe way to often individuals fall in love with the idea of being in love. They enter marriage with a lot of unclear expectations.
Some trials we talked about in class that many young couple have come across are not what we would normally think would instigate an argument. I didn't realize that a lot of disagreements are over the temperature of the house, the way someone cleans the bathroom, where things get placed, opening the mail of your spouse or the way someone sleeps (snoring is huge)! These seem so small and unimportant and yet research shows they are brought up over and over agin. We also discussed some other possible daggers to a marriage, power struggles are common as is where to draw the line of what kind of personal things we tell our girlfriends/guy friends or even our moms. My teacher made the comment, if men spoke about their marriage like a lot of women due the divorce rates would be much higher than they currently are. I really thought about that and it made me sad realizing that it is very true. All of these unimportant, silly things can all be overcome by simply communicating. I am realizing that now while I am dating is the time to learn if they are against something like opening mail or how they feel about their future wife and her moms relationship. It was so clear to me that there can be so many lines drawn and problems avoided if we will simply ask questions and really get to know the person we supposedly love.
This class has been a huge answer to my prayers. I know that I am not going to have a perfect marriage, but if I can enter a marriage knowing the silly corks about the man I claim to love my odds of a happily ever after are much greater. I also have come to realize that marriage is a huge commitment and entering into it ready is going to avoid a lot of tears on my part. I know that there are a lot of people ready to get married right when they get home from their mission or when they are 18 or 19 and that is perfectly fine, it is also ok for those of us who have not found that yet! The Lord loves us all and has a plan for each of us! Communication is key people!
Thursday, February 9, 2017
L...O...V...E...
I have been gone on a cruise to the Mexican Riviera this week. As fun and enjoyable as it has been I have had a lot of time to think about my loved ones back at home. I have also done a ton of homework on this cruise (I know... who does that!) And in the reading the part that stuck out to me the most was the different words that describe the different kinds of love. They were philia, which is the love between friends; storage, love between parents and their kids; agape, the feeling of love for an individual to act on the well being of someone else; eros, more than lust it is to have a desire to have sex with just one person.
An example of philia in my personal life is with my friend Sabey. She goes to school in Provo and I live in Rexburg. We do not get to see each other very often, but when we do it is like we never skipped a beat. It is one of those friendships that has been tested since the day we meant. We lived in the same ward and rode the same school bus. Less than sixth months later her family decided to move and I thought the end of the world had come. She lived all over and though every move and both of our missions we stayed close. I can honestly say that I love her and that I would do anything for her!
Storage is the one that is hitting on my heart strings right now. I love my family so much! It is interesting how not being able to talk to them and see them affects me. I have never questioned my parents love for me. My mom has dropped what she is doing multiple times just to come and take care of me. My dad was the queen dad who never missed a competition (most girls can not say that.) I have been blessed beyond measure.
To describe Agape in my personal life I will share a story. I was dating an incredible kid who treated me so good. I remember the day he told me he loved me I told him I loved him back and then later we were talking and I asked him what "love" meant to him. He told me respect and commitment. He asked me and I told him that I love him, but that I feel like there are different kinds of love. I did love him there was no doubt about it, but I couldn't say that I loved him in the sense of wanting to run and get married. I felt agape toward him.
Well I can't say I have personal experience in the eros area. I do know that it is something I look forward to. Loving someone so much that you want to be committed to just them. I think this relates right into the gospel. I think taking it to the next step and wanting to spend forever with one person for the rest of your life.
For any of you reading this blog post. I invite you to tell someone in each of these categories how much you love them. Yes, you should be telling at least four people.
Christ is true pure love. I know as we each come unto him and seek to feel his love and to also share his love we will find joy in this life and we will also help others to find it. I love each you!
Friday, February 3, 2017
Gender...
I find this topic captivating of my attention. I know it is something that is very touchy and close to many of our heart strings. I love God and I respect his law. In today's post I am not going to try to convince individuals that my opinion is right and theres is wrong. My desire is that we of all different beliefs can come together. I got thinking about it and asked myself the question, why do any of us care either way if someone is gay or lesbian. I believe it is because we care for the individual. We want them to receive of all of God's blessings or we want them to be happy with who they are. I recognize there are hundreds of ideas and opinions, but I have confidence that as we come to be familiar with the research that has been done on these topics we will come to peace. I am no expert on the matter! In my family relations class we have been discussing it. I love getting different ideas and being surrounded by so many open minded students. One thing we talked about specifically in class was when a child is growing up if she is female and is a bit boyish we call her a "tom boy," on the other hand if a boy is a bit girlish we automatically start calling him a sissy or gay. There is definitely a different vibe to each stereotype. I don't imagine that any of you would be surprised to know that there are many more men who are homosexual than women. I am going to share a link to a video we watched in preparation to coming to class. It helped me expand my vision. I grew up with an understanding that often times people are gay or lesbian, because of their genetic make up. I came to find out that we do not have research to back that up. What we do know that some men are more sensitive, they speak with their hands and are more dramatic. There are girls who wear baggy cloths and like to hang out with the boys playing sports. What many of us possibly don't now is that a large percent of people who are homosexual have been sexually harassed, many rejected by men, ( the video I shared the link to talks a lot about the perception of that specific person.) Pornography viewing was another one that they found common in many. These are a few of the many and not every person who is homosexual will have all of them, but they are things that have been found over and over again in the research that has been conducted. I hope this sparked a new thought or gave you a glance of expanding your view on the matter. I encourage all of you to go and study and become more learned.
I really wanted to share a little bit of what I learned with all of you. I testify that Jesus is the Christ. He loves each child with a love we cannot comprehend. I love studying the family and the different relations with in, because I feel like I come to know and understand my fellow brothers and sisters who many be "different" than me a little better. Families are eternal!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJhyzqdzpnM
I really wanted to share a little bit of what I learned with all of you. I testify that Jesus is the Christ. He loves each child with a love we cannot comprehend. I love studying the family and the different relations with in, because I feel like I come to know and understand my fellow brothers and sisters who many be "different" than me a little better. Families are eternal!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJhyzqdzpnM
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Family Culture
In my Family Relations class this week one of our discussions was directed towards culture, specifically in family life. The definition in the dictionary for culture is, "The attitudes and behavior characteristic of a particular social group." At the end of class the question I was asking myself and the question I invite you all to think about is, what is the culture that we have set or want to set in our homes? For a long time when I heard the word "culture" I thought of food and different life styles people were living all over the world. This is not incorrect, but it is a very surface level understanding.
It is interesting this class has made me think a lot about what I want the culture to be like in my future home. It is so easy to get stuck on where I want to be financially, what my social status will be, but what I really want to focus on is the culture and traditions that will be passed down to my family. I want my kids to know who they are and what potential they have in them as they rely on the Savior. I also want them to treat others in such a way that those they are among see themselves as something special, something Devine. I found a quote from a BYU Speech called Traditions of Excellence.
"President Kimball has told of a time when he was meeting with church leaders in a foreign country where different ideologies touched their children. He asked how the parents were able to hold their children and keep them from evil. He said their reply was proper. We train our children in our homes so completely in the way of right and truth that the destructive, godless philosophies and heresies of their other teachers run off without penetrating, like water on a duck’s back, and our children remain true to the faith. [“The Family Influence,” Ensign, July 1973, p. 15]"
It is obvious that we have a culture with in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It promotes a lifestyle to where we can be eternal, we can live with those that we love!I found this quote online when I typed in family culture, "Family culture is the unique way that a family forms itself in terms of rules, roles, habits, activities, beliefs, and other areas. " Culture is what makes us different, I can honestly say that the culture I was raised around formed me into who I am today. Education is important to me, because my parents made sure it was something they stressed as essential. I just wanted to share a few of these thoughts with y'all. I hope that you can take a step back at look at what you are creating in your home!
It is interesting this class has made me think a lot about what I want the culture to be like in my future home. It is so easy to get stuck on where I want to be financially, what my social status will be, but what I really want to focus on is the culture and traditions that will be passed down to my family. I want my kids to know who they are and what potential they have in them as they rely on the Savior. I also want them to treat others in such a way that those they are among see themselves as something special, something Devine. I found a quote from a BYU Speech called Traditions of Excellence.
"President Kimball has told of a time when he was meeting with church leaders in a foreign country where different ideologies touched their children. He asked how the parents were able to hold their children and keep them from evil. He said their reply was proper. We train our children in our homes so completely in the way of right and truth that the destructive, godless philosophies and heresies of their other teachers run off without penetrating, like water on a duck’s back, and our children remain true to the faith. [“The Family Influence,” Ensign, July 1973, p. 15]"
It is obvious that we have a culture with in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It promotes a lifestyle to where we can be eternal, we can live with those that we love!I found this quote online when I typed in family culture, "Family culture is the unique way that a family forms itself in terms of rules, roles, habits, activities, beliefs, and other areas. " Culture is what makes us different, I can honestly say that the culture I was raised around formed me into who I am today. Education is important to me, because my parents made sure it was something they stressed as essential. I just wanted to share a few of these thoughts with y'all. I hope that you can take a step back at look at what you are creating in your home!
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
One of the Greatest Blessings... Family!
My life started out this year in a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. To try to help y'all see a little more clearly, I want to share a personal life event that happened to me and so many of my loved ones. On Christmas Day after church my uncle was out on his mink ranch moving snow. My cousin, who lived next door, realized that the loader my uncle was working on had been out there for quite some time in the same spot. The spirit was definitely with him and lead him straight to my aunt. Together they went out and found my uncle. He had been in a tragic accident. After hours of working on him and trying to bring him back, he was pronounced dead. I was at the hospital when the ambulance pulled up. I was there when the doctor came into the room to inform my aunt and her two young daughters that there was nothing else they could do. I watched as so many of my loved ones sat in the hospital and cried and morned together. Weeks have passed and I have witnessed the Lord's hand in this great trial.
Many of you are probably wondering why I would choose this story to share. This last week we have discussed in my Family Relations class different Trends. There are so many that it would take forever to discuss each one of them. The one that I want to bring to y'alls attention is the increase in divorce rates. Just a little bit of information for you, the number of LDS couples getting divorced has gone up dramatically. Part of my goal in this post is to help inform members of the church to support those around them to fight for love. I know not all relationships can't work, but we must put in a good fight! It may be intriguing to some of you to know that 74% of people that highly consider divorce never end up following through with it. It is proven though that the kids of the couples who are divorced have a much greater chance of living in cohabitation or following through with a divorce. This being said 74% of the people considering divorce somehow realized they still loved their spouse, or found a reason to stay. It was interesting watching my parents after this tragic event. They held each other tighter, they now call each other more frequently through out the day. I love you are words used a lot more in our home. Sadly many of us don't realize what we have. Satan is deceiving, he helps us see all that we don't have. We become blind to what gifts are infant of us. I have realized that I take so much for granted. My plea to all of you who may be reading this. Hold those around you a little closer. Don't be afraid to be the first one every morning to express your love.You never know how long a "see you later" may be.
Many of you are probably wondering why I would choose this story to share. This last week we have discussed in my Family Relations class different Trends. There are so many that it would take forever to discuss each one of them. The one that I want to bring to y'alls attention is the increase in divorce rates. Just a little bit of information for you, the number of LDS couples getting divorced has gone up dramatically. Part of my goal in this post is to help inform members of the church to support those around them to fight for love. I know not all relationships can't work, but we must put in a good fight! It may be intriguing to some of you to know that 74% of people that highly consider divorce never end up following through with it. It is proven though that the kids of the couples who are divorced have a much greater chance of living in cohabitation or following through with a divorce. This being said 74% of the people considering divorce somehow realized they still loved their spouse, or found a reason to stay. It was interesting watching my parents after this tragic event. They held each other tighter, they now call each other more frequently through out the day. I love you are words used a lot more in our home. Sadly many of us don't realize what we have. Satan is deceiving, he helps us see all that we don't have. We become blind to what gifts are infant of us. I have realized that I take so much for granted. My plea to all of you who may be reading this. Hold those around you a little closer. Don't be afraid to be the first one every morning to express your love.You never know how long a "see you later" may be.
A List of my Fellow Bloggers!
Andrea Ashley Muse
Hannah Westerlind
Lauryn Larkin
Kelli-Marie McNair
Kenzie Calderwood
Kaylee Crossley
Madison Reed
Shelbie Merrill
Joshua Lapeyrouse
Amy Jacques
Emily Nichols
Natalie Jolley
Bonnie Ferguson
Caia Wheeler
Amberlea Kay
Leticia Calderon-Rios
Morgan Ogden
Karly Buchanan
Kelsey Trent
Melanie Chantry
Alyssa Wiley
Megan Garner
Alayna Hudson
Kayla Guy
Ryan Landes
Mariah Honda
Amy Jacques
Sarah Knight
Christopher Holden
Hannah Boots
Bailee Freeman
Dorothy Sagiao
Rachel Adela
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