This quote was on the top of the weeks notes and information for me and my fellow classmates.

 I love it!!

"Just as Jesus used a child in His mortal ministry as an example for the people of the pure love they must and could have to be like Him, He has offered us the family as an example of an ideal setting in which we can learn how to love as He loves. That is because the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is." 

-President Henry B. Eyring

I try to cover topics for all adult ages to gain ideas and information from. Today I want to talk about the "s" word... yes sex. But I want to talk about it in a family friendly zone. 😅 I hope to be able to help future moms and dads, parents of young children and parents of teenagers to know how and when to talk about it. 

I love this website. It is put out to the world as a source by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Parents Guide: https://www.lds.org/manual/a-parents-guide?lang=eng

I found it really interesting that we should be teaching our children about sex from the time they come out of the womb. We teach them to respect their bodies, to have kindness towards others. I pulled a section from this website, I couldn't say it better than they did.

"Be kind and patient as infants learn to do things for themselves. Harsh correction could diminish their self-esteem and make them anxious about trusting others. For instance, if a little girl tries to feed herself and constantly spills her food and her father habitually becomes angry, she may come to believe that she is bad because she spills. She may also learn to fear men. Her father’s challenge is to find a clean spot on which to kiss her and to encourage her to keep trying day after day until at her own pace she develops the needed skill. If she throws down the food in anger, her father should simply ignore her anger and temporarily remove the food from her reach. Patient, kind acceptance of young children’s efforts to learn will help them have good feelings about themselves and feel confident in loving their parents." 

I found a couple steps that help give us direction with kids when they are in the ages between 4-11 

"1. 

Teach your children to take good care of their bodies.

2. 

Teach your children how intimate relationships differ from other kinds of relationships.

3. 

Teach your children to accept and understand that basic differences between men and women are complementary in nature. To understand their role identity, children need to understand that each gender completes the purpose of the other’s creation.

4. 

Teach your children about sexuality as they become ready to learn.

5. 

Protect your children from physical and sexual abuse."

Amen. I really like how in #4 it says "as they become ready" When I was little I was quite innocent you could say... I was not like a lot of other kids who had curiosity. My mom and dad had to be sensitive to me and to my little sister. We were ready for differnt things at different times. I can see how important it is for parents to be lead by the spirit in rearing their children in righteousness especially with a topic as sensitive as this. 

It is a responsibility for all parents to educate their families! The teenage years are hard and we all know it! Trying to figure out who you want to be is huge... We need to create an environment where children feel safe to come and ask questions and if they mess up that they dont fear to come and get help. We need to share the love that Christ shared with all of us.

One more topic... Tips to stay faithful in marriage!

We talked a lot about this in my class and it made me realize a lot of different things that I had not thought of before. I never thought about what my future spouse will think of when I have opposite gender friends or how to protect myself in the work environment. Brother Williams made a comment about how when we get engaged that is a time to cut strings and put new ones up between the two of us. I never thought about how having opposite gender friends can be a tool used to destroy a marriage. It makes perfect sense though... why would you go and tell someone things you should be telling your husband, or spending time with someone when you could put that focus on one individual. The chances of their being jealously is really great. I thought to myself in class, I have a lot of guy friends and I don't see there being a problem with it as long as bounds are set. Then Brother Williams asked us... What if he had a bunch of "girl" friends that he had lunch with, just to catch up with. I thought oh heavens no. I think that is a great role to go by in marriage is asking ourselves that exact question. Or how would that make my spouse feel. We should always be trying to lift each other. My mission president was a really great example of how to handle the opposite gender while at work. He was a dentist and he and the hygienists and secretary that worked with him often had to travel for meetings with other doctors. He would never travel with just one lady. He would make them drive separately or would invite his wife to come with them. He never had to be placed in an uncomfortable situation and his wife never had to worry. This week in class I had multiple lightbulb moments and I hope that as you read this you too have had a few thoughts of how you could better your life or the life of your family. 

Marriage??

To all of you returned missionaries or unmarried college students out there, how many times a day do you get asked if you are dating?? Engaged??? As we come home marriage is the next big step we are expected to take in our lives. My question is, is it something some of us run into quickly, because it is the "expectation" or are we really in love and ready for that great and beautiful step of commitment? This question is one I have thought a lot about. I have definitely felt the pressure to get married from those around me. I would stress about it constantly, I spent hours upon hours trying to figure out a solution. When in reality there was no need for a solution. I realized that my loved ones were simply trying to be involved in my life and I perceived it as I was letting my loved ones down.  I questioned myself and my ability to "fall in love." It took me a long time with much prayer and even multiple visits to the temple to realize it is perfectly fine to be 22, not married and be an active mormon!

In my family relations class this week we studied and discussed early marital adjustments. It was amazing to me how many couples end up in marriage counseling before they have even reached a year of marriage. I would love to share with you some of our findings of why they may have been in that situation. So often we go in to marriage so in "love!" What does love even mean? They love to make out, they love having someone that gives them their full attention all of the time, they love the idea of a happily ever after. Do we ever really think of how we are going to reach our happily ever after? Do we consider trials that we may have to go through in the future and communicate and have a plan of how to overcome or avoid certain trials. Do we think about the sacrifices that we are going to have to make for our spouse? I believe way to often individuals fall in love with the idea of being in love. They enter marriage with a lot of unclear expectations. 

Some trials we talked about in class that many young couple have come across are not what we would normally think would instigate an argument. I didn't realize that a lot of disagreements are over the temperature of the house, the way someone cleans the bathroom, where things get placed, opening the mail of your spouse or the way someone sleeps (snoring is huge)! These seem so small and unimportant and yet research shows they are brought up over and over agin. We also discussed some other possible daggers to a marriage, power struggles are common as is where to draw the line of what kind of personal things we tell our girlfriends/guy friends or even our moms. My teacher made the comment, if men spoke about their marriage like a lot of women due the divorce rates would be much higher than they currently are. I really thought about that and it made me sad realizing that it is very true. All of these unimportant, silly things can all be overcome by simply communicating. I am realizing that now while I am dating is the time to learn if they are against something like opening mail or how they feel about their future wife and her moms relationship. It was so clear to me that there can be so many lines drawn and problems avoided if we will simply ask questions and really get to know the person we supposedly love.  

This class has been a huge answer to my prayers. I know that I am not going to have a perfect marriage, but if I can enter a marriage knowing the silly corks about the man I claim to love my odds of a happily ever after are much greater. I also have come to realize that marriage is a huge commitment and entering into it ready is going to avoid a lot of tears on my part. I know that there are a lot of people ready to get married right when they get home from their mission or when they are 18 or 19 and that is perfectly fine, it is also ok for those of us who have not found that yet! The Lord loves us all and has a plan for each of us! Communication is key people! 

  

L...O...V...E...

I have been gone on a cruise to the Mexican Riviera this week. As fun and enjoyable as it has been I have had a lot of time to think about my loved ones back at home. I have also done a ton of homework on this cruise (I know... who does that!) And in the reading the part that stuck out to me the most was the different words that describe the different kinds of love. They were philia, which is the love between friends; storage, love between parents and their kids; agape, the feeling of love for an individual to act on the well being of someone else; eros, more than lust it is to have a desire to have sex with just one person. 

An example of philia in my personal life is with my friend Sabey. She goes to school in Provo and I live in Rexburg. We do not get to see each other very often, but when we do it  is like we never skipped a beat. It is one of those friendships that has been tested since the day we meant. We lived in the same ward and rode the same school bus. Less than sixth months later her family decided to move and I thought the end of the world had come. She lived all over and though every move and both of our missions we stayed close. I can honestly say that I love her and that I would do anything for her!

Storage is the one that is hitting on my heart strings right now. I love my family so much! It is interesting how not being able to talk to them and see them affects me. I have never questioned my parents love for me. My mom has dropped what she is doing multiple times  just to come and take care of me. My dad was the queen dad who never missed a competition (most girls can not say that.) I have been blessed beyond measure. 

To describe Agape in my personal life I will share a story. I was dating an incredible kid who treated me so good. I remember the day he told me he loved me I told him I loved him back and then later we were talking and I asked him what "love" meant to him. He told me respect and commitment. He asked me and I told him that I love him, but that I feel like there are different kinds of love. I did love him there was no doubt about it, but I  couldn't say that I loved him in the sense of wanting to run and get married. I felt agape toward him.  

Well I can't say I have personal experience in the eros area. I do know that it is something I look forward to. Loving someone so much that you want to be committed to just them. I think this relates right into the gospel. I think taking it to the next step and wanting to spend forever with one person for the rest of your life. 

For any of you reading this blog post. I invite you to tell someone in each of these categories how much you love them. Yes, you should be telling at least four people. 

Christ is true pure love. I know as we each come unto him and seek to feel his love and to also share his love we will find joy in this life and we will also help others to find it. I love each you!

Gender...

I find this topic captivating of my attention. I know it is something that is very touchy and close to many of our heart strings. I love God and I respect his law. In today's post I am not going to try to convince individuals that my opinion is right and theres is wrong. My desire is that we of all different beliefs can come together. I got thinking about it and asked myself the question, why do any of us care either way if someone is gay or lesbian. I believe it is because we care for the individual. We want them to receive of all of God's blessings or we want them to be happy with who they are. I recognize there are hundreds of ideas and opinions, but I have confidence that as we come to be familiar with the research that has been done on these topics we will come to peace. I am no expert on the matter! In my family relations class we have been discussing it. I love getting different ideas and being surrounded by so many open minded students. One thing we talked about specifically in class was when a child is growing up if she is female and is a bit boyish we call her a "tom boy," on the other hand if a boy is a bit girlish we automatically start calling him a sissy or gay. There is definitely a different vibe to each stereotype. I don't imagine that any of you would be surprised to know that there are many more men who are homosexual than women. I am going to share a link to a video we watched in preparation to coming to class. It helped me expand my vision. I grew up with an understanding that often times people are gay or lesbian, because of their genetic make up. I came to find out that we do not have research to back that up. What we do know that some men are more sensitive, they speak with their hands and are more dramatic. There are girls who wear baggy cloths and like to hang out with the boys playing sports. What many of us possibly don't now is that a large percent of people who are homosexual have been sexually harassed, many rejected by men, ( the video I shared the link to talks a lot about the perception of that specific person.) Pornography viewing was another one that they found common in many. These are a few of the many and not every person who is homosexual will have all of them, but they are things that have been found over and over again in the research that has been conducted. I hope this sparked a new thought or gave you a glance of expanding your view on the matter. I encourage all of you to go and study and become more learned.

I really wanted to share a little bit of what I learned with all of you. I testify that Jesus is the Christ. He loves each child with a love we cannot comprehend. I love studying the family and the different relations with in, because I feel like I come to know and understand my fellow brothers and sisters who many be "different" than me a little better.  Families are eternal!    

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJhyzqdzpnM